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New year, year of the soul, 2018

Resolutions are so 2017.

12/31/17 3:09 PM
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    The year of 2018 is about focusing on a feeling, learning who you are, and stepping into the freedom and flexibility to figure it out without fear of failure.

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    Something odd is going on with resolutions this year. They’re not happening.

    We had a New Year’s Eve Eve party last night (a new tradition, because honestly I like to be at home snuggled up with my tribe on NYE) and in between games of Jenga and Heads Up!, I casually asked people about their resolutions. No one -- not one person -- had a solid list, or even one major resolution. The feeling overall was “Why create them when they don’t stick and in the end we just feel like a failure?”

    I hear ya. I usually don’t make resolutions for that same reason. Whatever strict guidelines I set out for myself somehow get fumbled in the day-to-day of life. And then I start to feel hopeless about ever really being able to make the changes I want to since I can’t even stick to the ONE new year’s resolution I made. Ugh. Can’t you just feel the defeat? I know you’ve been there too. It’s a downward spiral.

    I would like to declare that resolutions are OUT. No more resolutions of the exact steps I am going to take to make a change, all the while resting in the fear of failure that I might not actually do it. Or only sticking to whatever specific (and therefore limiting) ways I came up with for how I am going to make the changes I want to see.

     Some of you who have been following my posts may be surprised by this. I am a self-help, personal-development fan, and one of my core values is personal growth -- it makes me happy to feel like I am growing and learning as an individual. 

    Not to worry, I am just replacing resolutions with themes. You see, with themes you let go to the specifics of the how and step into the now, so you can flow with your life while keeping in mind your ultimate goal of how you want to feel: healthier, sexier, financially stable, proud, loved, safe, free…. Focusing on one or two themes of how you want to experience 2018, or how you want to feel in 2018, leaves you room to experiment, let your spirit do some of the planning, try different things and see what works without having to label any effort with any amount of failure -- because, well, you’re figuring it out! How can you hold yourself to some strict zero-tolerance-for-failure plan when you haven’t felt whatever way you’d like to for a while? Why think you know exactly what needs to be done, when maybe you don’t, and you’ll have to figure it out along the way? Instead, try out a few ideas and see how it goes … and shift when needed, all the while remaining committed to the theme you’re focused on. This is what leads to positive change and a commitment to the journey -- because that’s exactly what it is. Not a list of rules on how you should and should not live.

     When you approach change and personal growth in this way, with a theme, it helps you become present in your day-to-day, as you notice what works for you and what doesn’t. It keeps you curious and interested in exploring and trying new things. Instead of thinking about the how, you’re thinking about the now -- connecting to yourself and the moment and continually checking in to see if how you’re living is taking you where you want to go. The same thing a coach helps you do. Checking in with how your energy and actions right now are leading you toward your experience of tomorrow.

    Personally, I struggle with taking care of myself -- I am a burn-the-candle-at-both-ends type of person. So my main theme for 2018 is nourishment -- nourishment of my body and my spirit. And while I’ve got the diving-in-deep-to-your-soul thing going on, and I want to continue that in 2018 with ripe enthusiasm, I also want to add feeling like my best self on the outside too. Outside meaning, you guessed it, having my body in its natural and optimal state, too.

    To be honest, I feel superficial and typical focusing on eating better and losing those extra few inches I’ve wanted to lose for years. But it’s the truth, and I think many of us want the same thing. To get rid of that extra layer -- both physically and emotionally -- that keeps us from being our best self.

    And so, with my theme of nourishment, I am focusing on nourishing my body instead of restricting. Filling myself with foods, information and experiences that help me feel alive, strong and youthful! All of which lead to a trimmer waist. Eating life-building foods, learning new health-focused recipes, spending time outside daily, enjoying more creative sex and intimacy, investing the time to find clothes and jewelry that make me feel good, expressing gratitude for the foods the earth and its farmers provide. And all along checking in with how my body feels. Stretching, strengthening, relaxing, indulging, challenging, and loving it throughout the process, asking it what it needs to feel its best. There’s no end goal for where it ends up besides a feeling that it’s finally at home. Without stress and conflict, like a tug-of-war -- you know that feeling -- and instead, pure care, love and respect. A feeling that my actions every day are in harmony with my own nourishment of my body. When I feel tired, instead of grabbing chocolate, I can take a nap, rest, or do some breath work, asking for an energy burst to get me through this next push until I can get some sleep. Instead of staying up late to watch Netflix, I can go to bed earlier to give my body the time it needs to rebuild and repair so I can operate at my optimum.

    Now it’s your turn: Write your theme for 2018. How do you want to feel? Love, money, freedom, growth, spirit… whatever you’re going for this year, decide on a theme and begin to flesh out the story of how it feels. The way you get there will come naturally. Sometimes it may not seem like a direct link, but it is. Your intuition, your spirit, knows how to guide you there. For example, if you want to save more money and stop spending frivolously, you may begin to write about focusing on dating and finding love. Doesn’t seem like a way to save money, the opposite actually, but it may be what you’re craving and why you keep spending in the absence of it… because you really want to feel deep love and connection, and when you don’t have it… you spend. You see how it works? It’s not linear. Life isn’t linear. So trust what comes forward for you and begin. 

    Still not sure where to start? Feeling disconnected from your spirit or what you want to focus on? We got you: The “Soul Refresh” Purpose Package was created for you -- two sessions with a coach to help you get started.

    As for me, I want to experience 2018 with love, with peace in my spirit, with confidence and trust and most importantly with unobstructed connection to myself, my family and my community (including all of you here!), and part of the unobstructed connection is getting rid of the layer I’ve held onto for far too many years. Life is a series of experiences, about 42 million minutes of them to be exact (if you’re lucky enough to live 80 years). Wow, 40 million opportunities to connect, love, wonder, be in awe and take a step toward what fills your soul. Forty million opportunities to choose better. Forty million chances to inch toward a life that feels as good as it looks, to become your BEST self. And don’t underestimate the power of all those moments adding up to something GRAND! A life full of warmth, security and freedom to be who you are and live your life the way only you can.

     Here’s to you and this next marvelous year of moments. What a great time to be alive. What are your themes for 2018? Comment below or email me at lizzie@collectivegain.com -- if you grant permission, we’ll share your story anonymously to help inspire others. Remember we’re in this together, so let’s share and learn together.

    I can’t wait for what’s next, for you and for me. Happy amazing New Year!

    #LIVEYOURTRUTH

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    Lizzie Alberga

    Written by Lizzie Alberga

    Founder of Collective Gain and a woman on a mission to helping everyone find and live their truth.

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